How to Drive Yourself Crazy in Just 3 Days!

Yes, I accomplished this feat!   I will give you that I was half-way there any way. Due to the many gifts of technology, if I have been involved in anything this week, it has been a shipwreck.  I declare my avatar to be Jonah and volunteer to be pitched overboard to save the innocent around me.  I do not think the world is ready for the power I have at my unqualified fingertips.

About a month ago, I surprised Cliff with a new HDTV.  It dwarfs our former tv-a-saurus, but our reception was like a blizzard.  Flashbacks of watching Captain Kangaroo in the 60’s pretty much sums up what we were watching.  In reality it was NCIS and who could ever, ever, ever on their worse day confuse Mark Harmon with the Captain????  It was that bad.  This pushed Cliff over the edge to finally do what he had threatened to do for 2 years.  He ordered DISH Network.  Never would we miss a KU game again.  We would probably gain weight just watching the Food Network.  I would enjoy great music channels.  We could DVR everything.   We would be livin’ the dream.

I believe it all started with the entrance of  Mr. DISH Installer Guy.  Our house is one of the historic houses of the town, which makes the DISH a beast to put in. He labored and labored, while I was dealing with a dishwasher that wasn’t draining and a washing machine that was draining all over the floor. When finally done, he walked Inspector Gadget Cliff through how to run everything.  Dish Guy had a 100 mile drive, but half way home realized he had left his super-duper DISH drill in our basement and had to run back to get it. (Everyone groan here.)

With the choice to change tv services, we decided to unbundle our cable bundle.  We chose to switch internet providers which means a new email address.  Little did I realize how many auto-emails we get that we need to keep.  That means going in manually and changing them.  Each have their own system of how one needs to do it.  Some require a password that was set up when we got online which was the day after Al Gore invented the internet.  How am I supposed to remember them now?   Some sent me emails back with a 12 step process of how to do this which about launched me right into a 12 step program where I would introduce myself by saying “My name is Kelly.  I am electronic, memory and patience challenged”.   Then our computer didn’t want to switch over to Outlook.  I was able to haunt a poor tech support gal, who I know will from now on tell the receptionist, “If it’s Kelly Long, I died.”

With the ‘unbundling of the Longs” we decided we don’t need that land line phone anymore.  The only calls we get are political.  Freedom!  No more breaking my neck to run up the basement steps to find no one there (grrr!) and we would save $400 a year at least.   For ages the kids have made fun of my cell phone which is from the Flintstone’s network.  The little bird inside is just not holding a charge anymore and my texting speed is right out of the stone age.  Casey donated her blackberry to me, since Techno-Girl has upgraded twice in a year and 1/2.  I took it in to activate it and transfer the numbers over.  After about an hour and several people trying their hand at working the transfer, I told them that it was ok to concede defeat.  Props to them for trying.  That evening consisted of the great fun of acquiring carpal tunnel as I pecked them in.   We won’t even go into me trying to operate this beast.  If you hear of rockets launching, I have probably just hacked into NORAD when all I wanted to do was check my facebook.

Which leads us to Mom’s online banking account.  I set it up about a month ago.  One security question dealt with the last name of her maid of honor.  She has been married several times and it’s been a month ago since set up.   I had written it down, but only the good Lord knows where I put it.  I knew I went with marriage #1, but did I put her maiden or married name?  I really think I did not read the question right and put her first name.  This has only led to 3 phone calls to the bank.  I get the same gal every time and thank goodness, we are kindred spirits.  In fact we are thinking about setting up a daily chat time since this seems to be a necessity.

Cole had called in the midst of this because he needed our tax info for the FAFSA.  (Read this story in the last blog called “The Job That Has To Be Done”)  So I tackle the taxes online and it goes slick.   Yes!

Until the next morning when I see that the return has been rejected!  That opened up a new world of ‘why’, ‘how’ and ‘is all our info scattered to the 4 winds?”

To add to the drama, I march my little cart full of groceries up to check out with my stack of a zillion coupons.  From the get-go the items are being cantankerous about scanning.  Every bell and whistle went off when we got to the coupons.  This was during the supper rush time and the line behind me was starting to resemble a riot.  The very sweet cashier guy was constantly calling the manager over to do that key thingy to the register.  He kept comforting me that it wasn’t my fault, but I knew.  It was ‘me’ I was dealing with.

I got home and inserted new ink cartridges in the printer.  It had run out when I was printing that pesky tax return that got rejected.   I fired it up.  Mothing, nada, zilch!

Thank goodness that today things are starting to come together.  I still don’t know how to do much on my phone, but I can get by until Casey does a workshop with me on it this weekend.  The tax deal and Mom’s account stuff is done.  The tech girl got my email set up.  The tv is so clear we agree being a make-up artist in TV land has gotten more critical with bigger tv’s and the HD option.  Wow!  Every line and wrinkle is magnified times 10-even on the Jayhawk.  (For K-State fans, Frank Martin is so scary, I think I’m the one that missed the 3 pointer!)

At times like this I take comfort in: “Peace, I leave with you, my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid”  John 14:27.  That Jesus always knows exactly what I need to hear!   Better yet, he said, “In my Father’s house there are many rooms.  If it were not so, I would have told you.  I am going there to prepare a place for you.”  John 14:2.

I love the fact that there is not one mention of cell phones, internet, tv, online anything, dishwashers, etc.  It does me good that he knows exactly what I don’t need as well.

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2 thoughts on “How to Drive Yourself Crazy in Just 3 Days!

  1. I don’t know if you subscribe to http://www.southernplate.com or not – but every time I read what you write, it reminds me of Christy Jordan and her daily e-mail recipe and her comments! Both of you are enjoyable to read. Hugs to your Mom!
    Peggy

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