When the Prayed for Answer Breaks Your Heart

Our family’s prayer was simply for ‘definite direction’ in regards to family member’s issue.  ‘Yes’ or ‘no’ would have sufficed. When the answer came it was swift, harsh, and with a creative twist no soap opera collaborative team could cook-up.  One of our own’s heart was brutally yanked from the body and lay weakly pulsing in a mess on the floor.  

This was not the way I had in mind on how God should answer my prayer—nor the rest of my family’s.  Or the hideous timing.  Company was staying at our house,  and we were moments from appearing at a very public event in honor of other family members.  All six of us huddled in the bathroom, breathless and injured with our wounded warrior before facing the world.   By the grace of God, we survived—even the devastated one , who will be nominated for an Oscar with a stunning performance in Everything is Just Swell in My Life

At one point our entire family, including our normally warring cat and grand-dog, camped on Cliff and my bed as we tried to comfort and work through the confusion. 

In our passion to try to right a wrong that is not our responsibility to fix, we have done some things right and some things we have done wrong.  The gambit of  dramatic feelings, advice, and actions have clattered noisily on a continuous roller coaster track.

 Helping with Vacation Bible School this week has helped jerk me up to back off of how I think God should move in this.  I had been delving deep, searching Scripture for the perfect scenario and revelation to back up my Holy Spirit Jr. attitude.  Instead, Flash Skyrunner, the bumbling wannabe pilot, shared a profoundly simple message:

No matter what happens, TRUST GOD. 

No matter what people do, TRUST GOD.

No matter how you feel, TRUST GOD.

Of course, I knew this.  Who doesn’t?  I toss this truth around as casually as a sprinkling of salt at supper.  But it’s another thing to put it in action when all you see  are the shreds of your loved one bleeding in front of you.   

Trusting God means letting him pick up that pulverized heart and heal it.  Trusting God means stepping back and allowing him to do a new thing in that life, even if starts with the swing of a demolition ball.  Trusting God means I’m required to lay the responsibility that he gave me for a season that started with the first introductory wave of morning sickness twenty something years ago on his altar.

In the trusting, he has equipped me an invaluable gift.  As long as I have breath, an unseverable umbilical cord of prayer is there, connecting the three of us.  Although, this incident is sticky with new questions to the end result, through the bonds of prayer, our faith dependent isn’t on the outcome, but only the goodness of God.  Our baby was his baby first, and he has promised good to his children–especially the brokenhearted.

I am confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait and for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.  Psalm 27:13-14.

 

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2 thoughts on “When the Prayed for Answer Breaks Your Heart

  1. my oh my….. i just can’t believe how your writings seem to sometimes go right long with things that have happened in our lives lately or are happening now. Would share with you but such a long story, and even though God has ‘kinda’ given me peace about the situation (I still would like it to work out a certain way, but HE knows best for future.) I guess as a mom we just want to protect our little boys (oh wait they are really men now) :/ Our oldest will be celebrating his 26th birthday tomorrow. “Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God.” Sometimes easier to quote then to actually do!!

    • Oh Paula, I am so sorry you are being molded and shaped in the crucible of parenthood as well. It doesn’t matter how old they are either, huh? I am humbled once again by how God works through the not-for-sissies stuff to tie our hearts together. Praying for your situation and for God’s work in your baby’s life.

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